And Sometimes it's just time

So today I really wanted to talk about something a little bit different. It was really my ah-ha moment... Usually, normally, I'm very well guarded and tend to be accepting of new things. This brings me back to the whole fear of not knowing. Lately, I've been feeling a lot better after I realized how much more pleasant my life is and could be once I've allowed myself to open up a little bit more. Sometimes it's really just time to move on and let go of the things that are holding you back because you're afraid to venture off and create a new family and circle. Well, that is me...That has been me in the past. However, lately I'm finding myself enjoying my surroundings and the people in a little bit more. Sure does make for peace of mind too....to know that you can have that support if you're willing to open yourself up to it. People change, people grow apart, people become new people and well, sometimes it's just time to let go and that's okay too! I won't go into specifics but yeah, so that's my realization and I feel so much better overall now.

This weekend I spent it with a new group of people and it felt very refreshing. I cannot believe that I am finally starting to feel normal again. After all this time! Friday I spent a couple hours and my friends house just visiting her and then ran some errands, lost my wallet, found my wallet and then dealt with a fussy baby the rest of the night. On Saturday I attended a baby shower which turned out to be really nice. It had all the comfort and warmth that I was missing at my own (which almost did bring me to tears) but I guess this goes back to the just sometimes it's time thing..so I let it go. I was just completely amazed by level of friendship, love and support here even though they are essentially new friendships. Just goes to show that things can be good and that there are genuine people in the world. Well it was really nice and we ended the night with a couple drinks at a local sports bar. So not bad for a first full weekend out I must say so myself.

Sunday...we went to the mall and the mission was to find holiday dresses for my husband's Christmas party on Friday. Ummm...why didn't any of you guys warn me about this post partum body and buying clothes??? Ughhh, talk about disgust and frustration. Well, I was more than that actually. It occurred to me that my body really is different now that I've had Mikey. And it occurred to me that I no longer have the true luxury of being able to wear absolutely anything I want. Hell, I couldn't even fit into majority of the clothes. Yeah no kidding!! That's what I said also. And the ones I could fit in weren't actually flattering on me anymore. Oh gosh, the bubble pregnancy gut. You would think that with 32lbs gone already since Mikey that I would be okay...nope. I may have lost all the pregnancy weight but I have lots of work to do still. I mean my body has changed a lot and I never in a million gazillion years thought my pregnancy would do this to me...and leave me with a bodyfat % in the 30's...well that's the realization of it. I'm not that big actually but my bodyfat has completely changed and it's going to take a lot of hard work and commitment to get back to the teen's that I am used to....I'm working on it now!