Monday, December 7, 2009

And Sometimes it's just time

So today I really wanted to talk about something a little bit different. It was really my ah-ha moment... Usually, normally, I'm very well guarded and tend to be accepting of new things. This brings me back to the whole fear of not knowing. Lately, I've been feeling a lot better after I realized how much more pleasant my life is and could be once I've allowed myself to open up a little bit more. Sometimes it's really just time to move on and let go of the things that are holding you back because you're afraid to venture off and create a new family and circle. Well, that is me...That has been me in the past. However, lately I'm finding myself enjoying my surroundings and the people in a little bit more. Sure does make for peace of mind know that you can have that support if you're willing to open yourself up to it. People change, people grow apart, people become new people and well, sometimes it's just time to let go and that's okay too! I won't go into specifics but yeah, so that's my realization and I feel so much better overall now.

This weekend I spent it with a new group of people and it felt very refreshing. I cannot believe that I am finally starting to feel normal again. After all this time! Friday I spent a couple hours and my friends house just visiting her and then ran some errands, lost my wallet, found my wallet and then dealt with a fussy baby the rest of the night. On Saturday I attended a baby shower which turned out to be really nice. It had all the comfort and warmth that I was missing at my own (which almost did bring me to tears) but I guess this goes back to the just sometimes it's time I let it go. I was just completely amazed by level of friendship, love and support here even though they are essentially new friendships. Just goes to show that things can be good and that there are genuine people in the world. Well it was really nice and we ended the night with a couple drinks at a local sports bar. So not bad for a first full weekend out I must say so myself.

Sunday...we went to the mall and the mission was to find holiday dresses for my husband's Christmas party on Friday. Ummm...why didn't any of you guys warn me about this post partum body and buying clothes??? Ughhh, talk about disgust and frustration. Well, I was more than that actually. It occurred to me that my body really is different now that I've had Mikey. And it occurred to me that I no longer have the true luxury of being able to wear absolutely anything I want. Hell, I couldn't even fit into majority of the clothes. Yeah no kidding!! That's what I said also. And the ones I could fit in weren't actually flattering on me anymore. Oh gosh, the bubble pregnancy gut. You would think that with 32lbs gone already since Mikey that I would be okay...nope. I may have lost all the pregnancy weight but I have lots of work to do still. I mean my body has changed a lot and I never in a million gazillion years thought my pregnancy would do this to me...and leave me with a bodyfat % in the 30's...well that's the realization of it. I'm not that big actually but my bodyfat has completely changed and it's going to take a lot of hard work and commitment to get back to the teen's that I am used to....I'm working on it now!


  1. This post makes me so happy Amber!! I'm glad you are finding your home there in Atlanta. :)

    And you'll get to those teens again. I know it!

  2. This post made me smile and it made me think. I am so happy that life has adjusted for you in ATL and that your are happy. I cn tello how much happier you are just from your writing. I do have to get down there soon to visit.

  3. yay! so glad you are feeling more at home in ATL!
    i moved from TN (my home) to IN 2yrs ago and i have yet to have that feeling!!!

    and oh,totally agree with genie that you will see the teens again,sooner rather than CAN have your body back,never 100%,but you can get it pretty garsh darn close!!

  4. Thanks ladies...I realized after talking to someone close to me that essentially what I had been doing was holding onto only old and long friendships that I had back because that was/is my comfort spot and keeps me from getting hurt when you add new relationships in the mix. But also by doing that I realized I was isolating myself and making my life more miserable than it had to be. Sometime's people grow apart and the dinamic of friendships change...and that's okay. I'm okay with that now. I'm just trying to move on with my life now and be as happy as I can given my circumstance.

    And YES..Alicia you must visit. I had been talking to Mike about that just a cple wks ago actually. :)